hat are you afraid of? Release the book!

For the last 18 months I’ve been filled with excitement while writing Unconscious Decisions, the book I had been talking about for several years! I was on a mission to share what I had learned with others and had an expectation that it would change lives.

As of late, my mood has changed. With the realization that it now falls to me to market the book, the excitement has turned to anxiety and the urgency to get it published has cooled. Both my husband and editor are reminding me of the need to “make the calls” and “get out there.” But, unlike my friends Mailoan and Susan, who by the end of an evening’s event will have met every person in the room, I tend to be more reserved. It’s more likely I would be sitting in the corner and people-watching than networking.

This recent development is not a surprise to me, I know what’s going on – after all, that’s what Unconscious Decisions is about.

So, what’s causing the anxiety? Disapproving programs in my unconscious mind have been allowed to run rampant. They humored me when I was only putting my thoughts on paper, but I’m quite sure they believed I was only kidding about the book. Did I really think they were going to let me share those words with the world?

There will be people who will say I’m crazy and there’s no doubt I will be judged and criticized. I had accepted that premise even before I began writing but I felt compelled to write anyway. So, what’s going on? Could it be a fear of failing?

Fear of failing is common to almost everyone, and I’m no exception. What if no one reads the book? What if they do and they hate it? Although I don’t relish either of these situations, I know that the people that need this information will be drawn to the book.

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If not a fear of failure could it be a fear of success? Well . . . that’s a silly question! Isn’t it?

Success could mean soaring book sales, paid speaking engagements, media interviews, traveling, meeting new people, an international publisher, and most importantly, reaching a multitude of people.

The only obstacles standing in the way are the defensive guards created by my unconscious beliefs. How could I possibly have acquired beliefs that would program me to not want all of the above success?

Such beliefs could probably be traced back to some forgotten situation, conversation, reprimand or warning I experienced when I was very young. As we age and our conscious mind develops we become more selective about what we allow in but are not immune to new beliefs and fears becoming lodged in our unconscious mind. I recall a constant reminder from a former partner that reinforced an idea that “what I have to say doesn’t matter.”

Let me assure you that my unconscious mind is also filled with countless joyful beliefs, but for now, I’m trying to figure out why I would have any kind of fear of success. I began to ask myself questions and answered rapidly with the first thoughts that came to mind. See if you are familiar with any of the answers that popped up:

• How do I feel about being an author?

  • Answer: “I’m not good enough” as a writer to be a real author, I just tell my story.

• How do I feel about being a teacher?

  • Answer: How can I teach others if I’m still wrestling with my own fears?

• How do I feel about speaking publicly?

  • Answer: I might freeze and embarrass myself, and, of course, “my opinion doesn’t matter.”

• How do I feel about meeting new people?

  • Answer: Reverberating through my head is the phrase, “don’t talk to strangers.”

• How do I feel about traveling?

  • Answer: I would love to travel more but am a little apprehensive about unfamiliar places, and there’s that “don’t talk to strangers” thing again.

• What are my beliefs about money?

  • Answer: You have to work hard and “money doesn’t grow on trees.”

• How do I feel about meeting new people?

  • These are certainly not the answers I expected, nor what my conscious mind believes! Of course, science tells us it’s not the conscious, but the unconscious mind that’s running the show.

These responses are an example of how our unconscious beliefs are good at camouflaging their intentions and can stop you from reaching a goal. If there’s something you desire with all your heart but it always seems out of reach, there is probably at least one contrary belief hidden away in your unconscious mind.

The unconscious mind is not some vile enemy that’s trying to make life miserable but is there only to carry out the programs that have been installed, many of which are to protect you. Mine wants to shield me from pain or embarrassment and keep me safe from strangers and scary places, so you can now see why it has been trying to sabotage the release of the book.

I’m grateful that it so diligently carries out its duties, but these ideas no longer serve me and it’s time to let them go. Fortunately, I know a few techniques that can change these belief patterns so I can move on, and yes, I do share them in the book. Let’s face it, no one ever eliminates all of the negative programs, but changing just one can make a huge difference in your life.

The launch of Unconscious Decisions is now only days away and I still have much work to do, but I hope you have gained something of value from my experience.

If you have found this helpful, please leave a comment.