Unfortunately, anytime I have had an opportunity to speak with someone who seemed open to listening I would spew everything I knew and soon my husband would start poking me in the ribs or the person would politely – or not so politely – excuse themselves in order to escape from this crazy person. I had become one of those zealots that we all want to run away from. I quickly learned not to say anything unless asked.
But how could I not want to tell the world? I don’t remember ever having a passion to do anything as much as I wanted to share what I had learned.
My journey had begun on an otherwise uneventful Saturday morning while I was doing household chores. I heard a voice inside my head telling me to find and read a specific book that I had put away years before. I recovered the book and over the next two weeks read it three times. It introduced my mind to strange, new ideas. As I mulled over these new concepts in my head, I began to question ideas that I had held for a lifetime. Like a trail of breadcrumbs, the answers were presented to me, one after another and arrived from various sources – a book, article, email, speech, seminar or a chance encounter. My appetite for more knowledge was insatiable. I began to understand exactly how I had created the circumstances in my life, including my cancer, and that we have been endowed with a magnificent power, yet most of us don’t know how to use it.
I came to the conclusion that I could weave some of what I had learned through my own story. Perhaps – just perhaps – I could even organize it in a way that others would understand, and not run away. By putting it on paper I could edit out what is evidently my scary enthusiasm and not overwhelm the reader.
Disciplining myself to actually sit down and write wasn’t a difficult challenge for me either, although I know that for many a lack of a regimen can be their downfall. I was now working at my “job” only three days a week and decided that my days off would be devoted to writing. Organizing my thoughts though wasn’t an easy task and I soon realized I needed to be held accountable to someone.
I believe in the Law of Attraction so, of course, a particularly helpful email popped up in my inbox. Two friends from my Toastmasters club were announcing the start of their new consulting business, Modern Speaker. Their mission is to assist others in their speaking and writing endeavors. Considering that I knew nothing – I mean nada, zilch, nil, zero – about the writing or publishing business, making that call turned out to be a good idea.
There were regular meetings with my coach where she would encourage – or push – me when I needed it and over the next year the words poured out onto the pages and a book came together. It sounds simple, but recalling times of pain and fear, and exposing my vulnerability is not a comfortable place for me. However, the writing helped to cleanse my soul, and honor the great teachers who had touched my life. When the first draft was completed it went to my editor for her meticulous examination.
With excitement, the first proof copy was ordered and now was the time to find and correct grammatical errors, evaluate the format, check the spacing and update with any new material. A writer has to write and re-write so, I was finally cut-off – “stop writing or the book won’t ever get published!”
Then there was the fear of actually launching the book! But that is for another post.
Will anyone read Unconscious Decisions, a book written by a 67-year-old nobody?
Yes! I know that there are people out there that will be impacted by this book. How do I know? I have seen it! You may think a little crazy slipped out again, but when you read the book you’ll learn that seeing, feeling and knowing are the main ingredients to making it happen. If the book leads just one person to another book or teacher that changes their life, then I have done my job. We are all connected and I believe a positive change in one of us will have a ripple effect and produce a positive change for all of us.